Tell Me What You Think I Should Do
by BenoightLangson
Summary: One Shot. Olivia is in a complicated relationship but is finally able to admit to Hank that she is not as happy as she claims to be. Takes place during Season 18 (SVU)/Season 4 (PD). Please read & review.


**A/N: I don't own any of the characters.**

Olivia was in Chicago for yet another case with CPD Intelligence. The case was over and mostly everyone had already left Molly's. Olivia was sitting at the same table that she and Hank sat at after the first case they had worked on together. She was looking at her phone and reading the texts she had gotten from Fin, Carisi and Rollins about other cases they were working on. She replied and then she saw one from Lucy with a picture of Noah. That always made her feel better. Olivia really hadn't been herself lately. Ever since she started seeing Ed Tucker, her life seemed to be even more complicated than it already was. She had been able to repair her friendship with Barba but she knew it would never be the same. Fin was the only one she confided in from the squad. She was glad she did this trip to Chicago alone but she had so much going through her mind that she couldn't think straight.

Hank had headed to Molly's once he figured everyone was gone. He had never really been one to socialize much but he had been thinking more and more about Justin and Camille lately. He missed Daniel terribly since he and Olive went to Scottsdale to live and Erin had Jay. The only thing he really had going for him was his job. When he arrived at the bar, he parked his SUV and walked in. He saw his colleague and friend from New York sitting at their table.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Mind if I join you?"

"If you want. I'm not very good company."

"That's ok. I'm not either."

Herrmann brought Olivia another glass of wine and a Manhattan for Hank.

"We didn't get much of a chance to talk. You doin' ok?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"That good, huh? Anyone you want me to put in the Cage?"

"No."

"You can talk to me. You know that. I know I had asked you out and you said no and I kind of felt hurt by that but I do understand why. I meant what I said, I want us to be friends and I want you to feel that you can tell me anything."

"I appreciate that. Thank you."

"You're welcome. What has you so sad?"

"I keep telling people I'm happy in my relationship with Ed but right now, I'm not even sure I believe that."

"Did he hurt you? Because if he did, I'm gonna hurt him and I don't care who he is."

"No, he didn't. I'm afraid things are moving too fast. He wants a future together and I'm not sure I do. He is good with Noah and I know Noah wants a daddy but I'm not sure if Ed is the one I see in that role. I don't want to tell him and risk hurting him but at the same time, I almost don't care. I'm really pathetic, aren't I?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'm the one who's pathetic. I still can't let go of my dead wife after nearly 7 years. I'm having trouble dealing with my son's death and I miss my grandson like crazy. He and my daughter-in-law are now living in Scottsdale. Erin is living with Halstead, so it's just me and my job."

"Ok, you win. You need to get out more."

"I don't see the point of that. Who'd want me?"

"You'll find someone special, Hank."

"I let the one I really wanted get away."

"She probably doesn't know what she's missing. Actually, she really doesn't know what she's missing. She's been too busy trying to figure out her own life. Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course. What are friends for?"

"I don't feel like Ed and I have an emotional connection. Sometimes I think I have better conversations with my 3-year old son and he doesn't judge me."

"I thought Tucker quit IAB."

"He did but I sometimes feel like he's still with them. He's really not that good of a listener. He says he cares about me and loves me but sometimes I wonder. I really don't feel the physical connection between us either. I don't know what to do. What do you think?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"You're a big help, Hank Voight. You know that?"

"I meant that I don't know that I should be the one to tell you what I think because you already know how I feel about you."

"I need to do something soon because I think he's trying to get enough nerve to propose. I'm almost positive I don't want to marry him."

"Are you two living together?"

"Not officially but he does stay over at my apartment. Not that we do much. We watch movies, eat and sleep. Occasionally we have sex but like I said, I don't feel that physical and emotional connection between us. I just want to feel truly loved by someone. Is that too much to ask?"

"No, it's not. I haven't been with anyone since before my wife got sick."

"Is she the only woman you've been with?"

"Yep."

"That's what I wanted for me but obviously that won't ever happen. I shouldn't feel so alone but I do."

"You have Noah. He loves you, your squad loves you and so does my squad, especially Erin. I do too, even if it's just as a friend. Sometimes I wish there had been more between us but I have accepted that we won't ever be anything more than friends."

"Would you ever sleep with a friend?"

"That depends. Would you?"

"Maybe. I had feelings for my former partner but nothing ever happened between us. He was married and I respected that. His wife referred to me as his work wife. He left without saying goodbye. Everyone always leaves, even my friends. Elliot, Alex, Casey, Munch, Don, Brian, David and Nick all left and Noah will too eventually when he goes off to college and starts a life of his own."

"You still have a while for that yet. He's only 3. Let me take you to either my place or your hotel and then we can talk some more. How does that sound?"

"I don't want to talk."

"Then how do you plan to get your feelings out in the open?"

That's not what I mean."

"Oh."

"You don't want me either. How do I end up getting myself into these messes?"

"Listen to me, I would love nothing more than to show you how I feel about you but I need to know that this isn't going to be just a one night stand. Otherwise I don't know that this can happen. I'm not a one night stand kind of guy. Just so you know, I don't give a crap about the distance between us. I've been in love with you since the moment we met and every time I'm around you, I have to stop myself from wanting to be with you. Technically, you're still in a relationship."

"So, in other words, the only way you'll sleep with me is if I end it with Ed?"

"Basically but I don't want you doing it over the phone. You owe it to the guy to do it face to face."

"You're right. I do. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll take you back to your hotel."

"Great."

They got up and put their coats on, so they could go out to Hank's SUV. Hank drove Olivia to her hotel and then he went home. When Olivia got up to her room and opened the door, Ed was there.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought we could stick around for a few days, so we can have some time alone without Noah. Olivia, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"I'm sorry, Ed. I just don't think I can. I don't love you the way you love me."

"You slept with that Voight guy, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. We're friends and colleagues. Nothing more."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Nothing happened."

"I'm not buying it."

"I don't care if you do or not. You should have called before you just showed up in my hotel room."

"Why? So you wouldn't get caught in bed with someone else?"

"You know what? I'm done with you. I don't really know why I ever agreed to becoming involved with you in the first place. I haven't been happy for a while."

"Since when?"

"Since Paris actually."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Every time I tried talking to you, you didn't want to be bothered. We don't have a physical or emotional connection. We never have. I need to move on with my life and I want to be happy."

"We can work this out."

"No, Ed, we can't."

"I want to talk about this now."

"There's nothing to talk about now."

"All of a sudden you don't want to talk. That's convenient."

"Ed, go home and to your apartment. Not mine. I want you to take whatever stuff you have at my apartment because I don't want it there. Leave your key with Lucy and don't make any contact with Noah. It doesn't need to be any more complicated that it already is. You better be gone from this room by the time I get back."

"I wouldn't want to interrupt anything between you and your lover."

"That's not what he is. Unlike you, he listens to me. Listening has never been one of your strong points. You only hear what you want to. Goodbye, Ed."

Olivia left, got a cab and headed to Hank's. When she arrived at his house, she paid the cab driver and went to ring the doorbell. Hank had just gotten out of the shower, so he had thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt before he answered the door.

"Benson."

"Hey."

"What brings you here?"

"Ed was in my room when I got there. He asked me to marry him and I said no. I ended up breaking up with him. He thinks there is already something going on between us but I said we were just friends and colleagues. All I want right now is for you to hold me."

"Come on in."

Olivia came in and Hank took her coat. They went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Hank put his arms around her and held her.

"This feels nice."

"Yeah, it does."

"I do want something more with you but I'm just not ready right now."

"Don't worry about it. We can take things slowly."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Hank covered the two of them with a blanket and then he kissed her cheek, while she kissed his. They fell asleep in each other's arms and stayed that way all night. Neither of them knew how things would end up but they both realized they wanted to give it a shot to see if they could handle a long distance relationship. When the time was right, they would go to the next step and that also included Hank meeting Noah.


End file.
